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Gail Sheehy’s Books Helped Readers Define Their Lives
Ms. Sheehy, a journalist, mapped out the crises one experiences in adult life, offering advice that was both tough and wise.
By Tina Jordan and
Gail Sheehy, a star journalist at New York magazine and a writer of creative nonfiction who examined cultural shifts and societal trends, in part by exploring the interior lives of public figures, died on Monday at 83. Her most famous book, “Passages” (1976), about the stages of a person’s development from early adulthood to midlife crisis and beyond, was just one of 17 books she wrote to give a reader a greater awareness of life, and his or her own place in it. Below are reviews of some of her most notable works.
‘Passages’
1976
“Books of popular psychology … are generally awful,” wrote our reviewer, Sara Sanborn. “Gail Sheehy’s new book is different. For one thing, it appears to have been written by an adult for other adults.” She went on to say that Sheehy “set out to do for adult life what Gesell and Spock had done for childhood,” adding, “I think she’s started a stimulating and worthwhile conversation.”
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‘Character: America’s Search for Leadership’
1988
“Over the last few years, writing about Presidential candidates for Vanity Fair, Ms. Sheehy has broken out of the pack of political reporters who work the psychology beat, by dint of hard work, invulnerability to embarrassment and the strict use of a frame of reference (her own),” Nicholas Lemann wrote. “She looks first for some basic problem in the candidate’s character that was created in the course of his growing up and then for an adult crisis that tested his ability to overcome the problem.”
‘New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time’
1995
“Everyone loves passages, those mystical corridors that lead us from where we have been to where we are going; and if the destination is unknown — visiting a new country, surviving an illness, growing older — we are all grateful for a good map. Gail Sheehy’s book ‘Passages’ was hugely popular precisely because it offered such a chart,” our reviewer Carol Tavris wrote. “Ms. Sheehy now offers ‘New Passages,’ an optimistic analysis of adult development in pessimistic times. For those who are unmotivated and confused, worried about losing their jobs or afraid of aging and death, she brings good news about growing older and reassurances that even doubts and despair can be a normal passage to a reinvigorated life.”
‘Understanding Men’s Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men’s Lives’
1998
“Men notoriously don’t like to ask directions, discuss their problems, ‘read books about their health or stop to re-examine where they have been in the journey of their lives,’” wrote our reviewer, Elaine Showalter. “I suspect they don’t want to be seen buying books about their passages either, and somehow I don’t think it’s an accident that I was invited to review this book instead of, say, Norman Mailer, Bob Dole or Stanley Fish.”
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‘Hillary’s Choice’
1999
“In her new book, ‘Hillary’s Choice,’ Gail Sheehy puts the first lady on the shrink’s couch,” Michiko Kakutani wrote in her review. “In the course of the book Ms. Sheehy ends up sounding a lot like Dr. Joyce Brothers while her subject comes across as an Oprah guest: a woman who loves too much and plays Wendy to her husband’s Peter Pan.”
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Gail Sheehy, Journalist, Author and Social Observer, Dies at 83
She looked at what makes public figures tick and, in her “Passages” books, how adults navigate life’s inevitable changes.
Gail Sheehy, a journalist who plumbed the interior lives of public figures for clues to their behavior, examined societal trends as signposts of cultural shifts and, most famously, illuminated life changes in her book “Passages,” died on Monday at a hospital in Southampton, N.Y. She was 83.
Her daughter, Maura Sheehy, said the cause was complications of pneumonia.
Gail Sheehy a lively participant in New York’s literary scene and a practitioner of creative nonfiction, studied anthropology with Margaret Mead. She applied those skills to explore the cultural upheaval of the 1960s and ’70s and to gain psychological insights into the newsmakers she profiled — among them Hillary Clinton, Margaret Thatcher, Mikhail S. Gorbachev and both Presidents Bush.
In articles for Vanity Fair and New York magazines, her specialty was connecting the dots of a biography to show how character was destiny.
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She was a star writer at New York and later married its co-founder, Clay Felker, who encouraged her to write “big” stories. In one of her earliest articles, she traveled with Robert F. Kennedy’s 1968 presidential campaign. She wrote presciently about subjects that marked turns in the culture, including blended families and drug addiction.
Of her 17 books, the most prominent and influential was “Passages” (1976), which examined the predictable crises of adult life and how to use them as opportunities for creative change. It sold 10 million copies, was named by the Library of Congress as one of the 10 most influential books of modern times and remained on The New York Times’s best-seller list for more than three years.
As she noted in the book’s foreword, most studies of life’s mileposts were focused on children and older people, but she wanted to look at those in the vast middle. “The rest of us,” she wrote, “are out there in the mainstream of a spinning and distracted society, trying to make some sense of our one and only voyage through its ambiguities.”
But she offered hope to those struggling through middle age, concluding that “older is better.”
Ms. Sheehy built the concept of “passages” into a franchise, spinning off more books and articles that examined other stages of life: “The Silent Passage” (1992), about menopause; “New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time” (1995), which proclaimed middle age obsolete and explored new options after age 50; and “Understanding Men’s Passages” (1998).
She capped off the “passages” theme with two later books. After serving as the primary caregiver for several years for Mr. Felker, who died in 2008 at 82, she wrote “Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence” (2010). And in “Daring: My Passages: A Memoir” (2014), she wrote about her own life, although many reviewers complained that she was not as revealing as they had hoped she would be.
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“One senses, beneath the surface, something fascinating to be said about her complicated, ambivalent relationship with feminism,” Michelle Goldberg wrote in The New York Times Book Review.
“At one point,” Ms. Goldberg said, “she writes of her fear of being linked with radical feminists, ‘angry women whose resentment was turning the sterling silver concept of equal rights into corrosive man-hating sexual warfare.’ Yet in the very next paragraph she says: ‘Slow, incremental changes were not going to get us anywhere. But how could we show the world we were mounting nothing less than a revolution?’”
Still, over a half century, Ms. Sheehy never lost her appetite for chasing a good story.
“Whenever you hear about a great cultural phenomenon — a revolution, an assassination, a notorious trial, an attack on the country — drop everything,” Ms. Sheehy said in a commencement speech in 2016 at the University of Vermont, her alma mater. “Get on a bus or train or plane and go there, stand at the edge of the abyss, and look down into it,” she advised. “You will see a culture turned inside out and revealed in a raw state.”
Gail Merritt Henion was born on Nov. 27, 1936, in Mamaroneck, N.Y., and grew up there, attending its public schools. Her mother, Lillian Rainey Henion, was a homemaker. Her father, Harold Henion, owned an advertising business.
Ms. Sheehy graduated from the University of Vermont in 1958 with a bachelor’s degree in English and home economics. Her first job was as a consumer representative for J.C. Penney.
She married Albert F. Sheehy in 1960 and moved to Rochester, N.Y., where he attended medical school and she worked as a fashion coordinator at McCurdy’s department store, decorating windows. She then interviewed for a job on the fashion page at The Rochester Democrat and Chronicle, though the editor was reluctant to hire her.
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“He told me he didn’t want someone to work just a year and then want a family,” she told The Democrat and Chronicle in 2015. “I was very fresh. I said, ‘I didn’t expect a pregnancy exam.’” She said that in those days, the mid-1960s, women were categorized as “either Holy Mother or Frigid Career Girl.”
Still, Ms. Sheehy learned some valuable lessons. “The paper taught me to write on deadline and to see that to get the good stories — to build a career — I had to get in on it early and have vision,” she said.
The couple soon moved back to New York City — they would divorce in the late 1960s — and she landed a job at The New York Herald Tribune, in the women’s section, or what she called “the estrogen department.”
One day she “snuck down the back stairs into the testosterone zone,” she told The Democrat and Chronicle, and, only slightly intimidated, approached Mr. Felker, an editor there. She quickly pitched a story about men in Manhattan who held “specimen parties,” using women to bring in more attractive women. He liked the idea and told her to write it, but “write it as a scene.”
Those few words opened worlds for her. At the time, The Herald Tribune was a hotbed of so-called New Journalism, in which writers like Tom Wolfe used the tools of novelists — characters, dialogue and scene-setting — to create compelling narratives.
Ms. Sheehy caught on right away and propelled herself off the women’s pages to cover some of the biggest events of the time. She snared an exclusive interview with Robert Kennedy just before he was assassinated and wrote profiles of Catholic women in Belfast, Northern Ireland, during the sectarian strife that turned into Bloody Sunday.
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It was in Belfast that the seed for the book “Passages” was planted. She was talking with a boy there when, she wrote, a bullet “blew his face off.” She herself nearly took a bullet, a moment that traumatized her and made her think about what she called “the arithmetic of life.”
Ms. Sheehy attended Columbia University on a fellowship in 1969-1970 and developed her forensic skills studying there with Ms. Mead, the premier anthropologist of her era. When Mr. Felker founded New York in 1968 with the graphic designer Milton Glaser (who died in June), Ms. Sheehy followed him there.
Her articles in New York often caused a sensation. In one, in 1972, titled “The Secret of Grey Gardens,” she revealed the little-known bohemian life of Edith Ewing Bouvier Beale, an aunt of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, and Ms. Beale’s daughter, known as Little Edie.
Another piece was “Redpants and Sugarman,” in 1971, about a streetwalker and a pimp, for which Ms. Sheehy dressed up as a prostitute to do her reporting. In a disclaimer, she acknowledged that she had made up characters for the article. But “Mr. Felker, to her everlasting horror, took out the disclaimer because he thought it slowed down the article,” Janet Maslin wrote in The Times.
“She landed in a heap of trouble for what still qualifies as a serious ethical breach,” Ms. Maslin added.
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Ms. Sheehy faced other criticisms, accused of practicing armchair psychology and training her eye too often on affluent professionals. Roger Gould, a Los Angeles psychiatrist, sued her for plagiarism, saying she had made extensive use of his research in “Passages” without giving him credit; they settled out of court.
Ms. Sheehy and Mr. Felker had a tempestuous, passionate, on-again-off-again romance that, after many years, turned into a stable relationship and, in 1984, into a happy marriage.
They raised Maura Sheehy, from Ms. Sheehy’s first marriage, and adopted a Cambodian refugee, Mohm Sheehy, who had lost most of her family during the murderous Pol Pot regime.
In addition to her daughters, Ms. Sheehy is survived by her sister, Patrica Klein; her companion, Robert Emmett Ginna Jr., a former Harvard professor and a co-founder of People magazine; and three grandchildren.
Ms. Sheehy, who lived in Manhattan, had been visiting Mr. Ginna in Sag Harbor, on Long Island, when she died. An early Facebook posting by her family had said that Covid-19 might “possibly” have contributed to her death, but that was not verified.
At her death Ms. Sheehy had been working on a book about the millennial generation.
“They are struggling with the rupture in gender roles and a crisis in mental health,” she wrote on her blog (on gailsheehy.com). “But this generation of 20- and 30-somethings is also inventing radically new passages.”
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